I have a confession. Though I am a foodie, and I do enjoy trying a wide variety of new and interesting types of cuisine, there’s one type of food I am not a fan of - spicy food. And as is common, I am married to someone who is my complete opposite. My husband is someone who eats and loves all things spicy. I don’t mean the kind of spicy guy that enjoys the occasional Tabasco sauce - I mean the kind that ONLY eats Blazin wings at Buffalo Wild Wings, and then washes them down by eating raw jalapeños. He once ate a dish so spicy…
that the restaurant made him sign a liability waiver before he ordered it in case he was injured or died (I wish I was kidding). But he enjoys spicy food so much, he is always happy and content even as his face is red and beaded with sweat.
So, we are opposites, complete opposites. His pleasure with spicy food is my pain. Spicy food hurts my mouth. It makes me lose all sense of taste and ruins any chance of enjoying my meal.
So, when my husband cooks, he knows to “go easy on the spice” or I can’t eat it. But the measurement of how much spice is too much, like many things in life, is relative. My husband made chili last month, a dish I thoroughly enjoy, and I made sure to remind him to cut down on the jalapeño. He makes a delicious chili recipe, so imagine my disappointment when I sat down to eat his tasty chili, only to realize that my mouth was in fact, on fire.
“I told you to go easy on jalapeños!” I said indignantly. He looked stunned and a bit sad, and said, “I did! The recipe called for 6, and I only used 3!”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Three jalapeños to me might as well have been a thousand. But three jalapeños to him is barely an ounce of spice.
Pain and pleasure are like that, experienced differently by everyone. As we go into the holidays, remember that what one person perhaps enjoys, might bring pain to someone else. An enjoyable song to one person might remind someone else of heartache. A pleasant evening stroll alone at dusk may be terrifying for someone who was attacked by a dog.
So give out some extra grace this holiday season. Be patient and be kind, because we are all doing the very best we can. We are all finding that delicate balance between pain and pleasure, and a little bit of grace and forgiveness (and perhaps less jalapeños) during the holidays can go a very long way.
